the idealistic wasteland

time's frustration

2010-03-14T16:59:00.005-07:00

So I'm really impatient for April, and so I've been creating random graphics in the meantime.

One for each main character! I'msonotclever.

Dr. Stormhaven (some random stock photo from deviantArt because it is INCREDIBLY difficult to find not-sexual pictures of older men wearing blindfolds. Song: "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls)

Alexis Fitzgerald (Model: Alexandra Daddario. Song: "Baba O'Riley" by The Who)

Samuel (Model: Christian Camargo. Song: "Paul McCartney" by SR-71)

Someone make me do something more productive.

(click to enlarge images)

things to look forward to

2010-03-13T12:35:00.003-07:00

So this Friday is the orientation programme for the Arizona State University College of Liberal Arts & Sciences English majors.

Damn that's a mouthful. But I'm excited to register for classes and re-visit the Piper Creative Writing Center -- if you get the chance, look up some pictures. It's a gorgeous place.

I'm also royally looking forward to Script Frenzy and getting started on Sentinels, the title of which I've decided to keep because I a) don't feel like changing it and b) don't care all that much. And the more I think about it the more I anticipate April 1.

I also CANNOT WAIT to graduate and get my own laptop so I don't have to restrict myself to when and where I can write/edit. Fragile Little Things is really suffering because I have to be alone and in a specific location at a specific time in order to do anything. I mean, in order to get anything done, I have to say, "Okay, I'm going to go *here* and do *this specific thing* at *this specific time* and that's that." And I struggle with doing it at home because it's a space I associate with playing games and socializing. It's hard for me to stay focused. So I'm doing my best in the current circumstances, but having my own laptop will make my life SO much easier.

Other non-writing related things of interest:
-Flogging Molly concert on St. Patrick's Day
-A whole week of nothing but me and Final Fantasy XIII, thank you Spring Break
-ONLY NINE WEEKS LEFT IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CAREER
-Prom which is thankfully at the super-fancy hotel downtown and not the ghetto-ass roller rink that it was rumoured to be at.
-The new Pokemon games come out tomorrow! Good lord I am such a geek.

oh right.

2010-03-10T20:11:00.001-07:00

Hi. =3

i hate my life.

2010-03-01T14:35:00.001-07:00

So I was flicking through the channels totally innocently earlier today.

And I found a show on the Sci-Fi channel.

Its title?

The Sentinels.

DAMMIT. Now I have to find a new title. Again.

Excuse me while I go make a head-sized dent in my wall.

sentinels: the summary

2010-02-23T22:23:00.002-07:00

Sentinels is a designed-for-cable teleplay I'm toying with for Script Frenzy 2010.

The Basics: In an alternate reality where mutant superhumans exist, all of the political unrest has finally settled down. In the dawn of the new age of coexistence between man and super-man, the thirst for understanding of the mutant phenomenon is born. Dr. Skyler Stormhaven, a genetic researcher, has long been the world's authority on the science behind mutation. But after his research compound is destroyed and his own mutant powers manifest, he disappears. Self-exiled for five years, Dr. Stormhaven is back -- now in the United States, Dr. Stormhaven opens a series of research clinics that offer protection and training in exchange for participation in genetic research. With the Mutant Equal Rights Act -- or MERA -- hanging controversy over his shoulder, Dr. Stormhaven sets out to unlock the secrets of human evolution, and maintain the peace between mutants and humans in any way he can.

Cast of Characters

Dr. Skyler Stormhaven: A genetic researcher whose powers manifested when his research compound was destroyed. He is an umbrakinetic (a shadow manipulator) with a weakness to light that drove him to blind himself. His powers are fueled by emotion, so he works extremely hard to keep himself in check. He studied martial arts in his time of self-exile and uses it as a means of controlling his abilities.

Alexis Fitzgerald: A college student whose powers manifested in a combination of school stress and annoying peers. She is a pyrokinetic (fire manipulator) whose powers are driven by sound. She often wears earplugs. She becomes an assistant to Dr. Stormhaven and, since she's capable of feeling emotion without destroying her surroundings, often fills in the blanks for him. She is as fiery as her abilities, but is close friends with Dr. Stormhaven and, later, Samuel.

"Samuel" (real name unknown): A mysterious middle-aged man with a largely unknown history. He is the first known necromancer, and was discovered walking down Samuel Street, barefoot in the middle of a winter night. He was transported to a psychiatric hospital where his powers manifested in the form of a ghostly green spectre following him around silently. Samuel is not known to speak or make any kind of social interaction, although with time, he eventually starts putting his toe out of his shell and forms a strong bond with Alexis and Dr. Stormhaven. He becomes a third part of their team, with a fierce protectiveness and loyalty that can't be broken.

My Take: I like this so much that I'm nervous as hell about writing it. xD I'm afraid it won't be as good on paper as it is in my head. But, I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal, aye? I've got a first season laid out (14 episodes, standard cable season) and I've got some interesting story arcs I want to pursue. Screnzy is only 100 pages, though -- the rule of thumb is that each page is roughly a minute of screentime, and if you have an hour-long show, minus commercials is really somewhere between 45 and 50 minutes, which is a 45-50 page script, then two or three of those will fill the Screnzy requirement. Hopefully I'll have the motivation to continue beyond just the first few episodes, though. Wish me luck!

screnzy 2010 playlist

2010-02-21T09:24:00.006-07:00

I apparently have a knack for picking songs that I can't find MP3s of. :|

IN THE MEANTIME.

Front Cover:

Back Cover (the colours don't match and I DON'T CARE):

Online playlist:
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/19289380107

Devil's Spoke (YouTube):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QirL0HXnyS4

The Wanderlust (Acoustic):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbpBcoldFEg

Handy-dandy lyrics plus a rough translation of Fondu Au Noir:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ofnqyyy4tyj

USE YOUR IMAGINATION.

I'll have MP3s eventually. =|

fresh perspective

2010-02-20T19:33:00.002-07:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I like listening to/reading established authors talk about their craft? I especially enjoy it when they go beyond the basics that I've known since I was twelve, as they did in this neat list from The Guardian.

This rule of fiction writing, from Helen Dunmore, really caught my eye:

"Finish the day's writing when you still want to continue."

That, to me, is an interesting thought. The obvious thing here is, why stop when you've got some momentum going? In my mind, this means "stop when you still want to write because that'll carry over into the next time you sit down to get work done." And an obvious corollary would be "keep going even when you don't want to continue anymore."

It's an interesting piece of advice. I might just try it sometime.

And Elmore Leonard wins at life for saying to use exclamation marks sparingly. I *hate* those things. The writing should be dramatic enough on its own without that (and don't get me started on that damned interrobang -- Google it).

That's definitely a good list, though. It goes above and beyond the typical beginner's advice. And I love Roddy Doyle's list.

screnzy mix

2010-02-18T22:24:00.003-07:00

THANKS A LOT, PHOTOBUCKET.

I was working on the back cover for my Script Frenzy mix when Flash freaked out on me and I lost everything I'd just done.

Oh well. I'll try again when I'm less pissed off.

In the meantime, here's the front cover! I quite like it. No, that is not my photography.

the new face of teaser tuesday

2010-02-16T18:51:00.001-07:00

Maybe I should switch to Screenshot Sunday?

Anyhow. As always, click to enlarge.

sentinels

2010-02-15T11:43:00.002-07:00

So I have no idea how to properly write for the screen, but then again, a few years I didn't know how to write a novel, and now look at me. =|

With that said, my Screnzy this year is going to be a television show. I'm still developing the finer points but I have the basic outline of a short season ready to go. I started with characters and played with their stories/personalities a bit until I managed to come up with a good plot for them.

Essentially, it'll take place in a world where mutants exist (X-men style mutants), but I wanted to make it different from the other mutant fantasy things out there. It takes place long after the beginning of the phenomenon, after all the civil-rights things that are customary of this genre. A genetic researcher studying the phenomenon develops a mutation himself, and through a semi-complex chain of events, he opens up a series of clinics across the United States that offer safety and training for mutants in exchange for their agreement to be research subjects. The researcher becomes the authority on mutants, and whenever the public or the government has a particular issue, they turn to him. One of the first to come to his clinics is a female college student who becomes his friend and assistant. Together they conduct research, help various mutants, among other things. Eventually they find a totally unique mutant who is in desperate need of their help and he becomes a third piece of their little group.

I'll explain the characters and the plot a little more later on. All I know is that I've downloaded Celtx (yay for free script software!) and I want to go play with it.

And no, I'm not abandoning FLT. Screnzy isn't until April, and I am a fabulous multitasker.

the process of progress

2010-02-10T21:59:00.001-07:00

Screenshot of Page 3 of edits. It says Page 4 but there's a title page.

Click to enlarge.

jeff eastin is the coolest guy ever.

2010-02-10T12:48:00.003-07:00

So last night, I spent two hours chatting with Jeff Eastin, the creator of White Collar, along with some other fans of the show.

BEST NIGHT EVER. So far.

He's a pretty cool dude. Really down-to-earth and delightfully open to feedback. It was awesome getting to talk to him. =D And he asked us some questions, saying that fan feedback helps him know where to go with Season 2. I totally have an uncredited role now. ;D

BRB TELLING ENTIRE WORLD.

In other news, I have decided to try a new tack with the editing of Fragile Little Things. Using the magic of MS Word 2007, I am typing up the rough draft exactly as is, and putting in comments on each paragraph (if I have any) that detail what needs to be changed, what needs to be kept, and what needs to be tweaked for continuity. So far it's a good balance between my inner editor's desire to change everything and my need to get it typed up. I can make a second draft from the comments, which'll be a lot easier than what I'm doing now.

Also, this is not totally because of my chat with Mr. Eastin making me really want to get shiz done. Really. Nothing to do with him at all. >_>

(aaaaah he referred to me by name! *fangirls*)

procrastination station

2010-02-03T16:35:00.001-07:00

click to make it bigger.

hey presto

2010-01-25T15:52:00.002-07:00

I love it when my theories turn out to be true.

I'm a teensy bit away from starting a small new bit in Draft 2, and I'm actually looking forward to writing it. If I get excited over a small addition, imagine how much more fun I'll have when I get to the major changes!

This, my friends, is good news.

Additionally someone from inkpop read a poem I wrote called An Ant's Tale and suggested I do children's stories. I've tried that and I suck at it, but it did give me the idea to illustrate An Ant's Tale and make it into a storybook type thing. I think it'd be pretty cool.

So I spent all of second hour drawing ants in various poses. xD I'm getting pretty decent at it. A little more practice and some planning and I'll get to work. It'll be fun, and I can include it as part of my senior project.

On an unrelated note, I HATE ALLERGIES.

an update (of sorts)

2010-01-24T18:37:00.003-07:00

I think I may have cut my lip whilst wrestling with my dog.

Anyhow. On the writing front I haven't done a whole lot for a number of excuses, the biggest one being that my mother is currently on crutches and needs a little extra help, so I don't have as much time to go somewhere and do my writing. I did a teensy bit during a massive rain storm we had, because I enjoy writing in the rain, but it wasn't a long-lived thing.

So hopefully this week I'll be doing more! I think I may have to pass on Teaser Tuesday, though.

I'm also hoping that getting through the beginning -- which at this time is largely unchanged -- will make things easier. I'm almost to a point where I start making some major changes which will hopefully spice me up over FLT again. There's also the added bonus of making things a bit more dramatic at the beginning and thickening up the plot some. Good news for me!

I'm simultaneously working on my senior project (by which I mean I'm throwing my shiz into a pile and calling it a project) but I'm having difficulty with the essay that's due February 5. I need to bang that out soon otherwise my grade will be severely compromised.

Also, if you're interested in helping me get a better grade, go comment on something here: http://almaddix.webs.com because the more comments I get the better grade I get. I'll be adding more stuff as time passes; a lot of what's up now was just me experimenting with the site. I appreciate the help!

So that's my writing life in a largely uneventful nutshell. On the plus side, Creative Writing Club had a write-in today and I was proud of myself for driving there & back on my own. ;D

denial!

2010-01-12T21:31:00.002-07:00

Still in denial over the fall finale of White Collar. Don't try and convince me otherwise. Everything happened except like, the last five minutes. Yup. Tooootally.

>_>

Oh yeah, writing! Magical things are happening. By which I mean things are proceeding uneventfully and uninterestingly.

Also my obsessions are crossing over one another. Today I typed Jesse as Neal. WRONG ESCAPED CONVICT. And I don't have the copyright to Neal, as much as I would like to. xD

aaaah jeez. What am I going to do with my life, kids?

the miracle of organization

2010-01-10T21:27:00.001-07:00

I should never, ever doubt myself.

While I was panicking over the fact that my revised outline was not in my clear plastic portfolio, I forgot to remember that it was, in fact, underneath A.R.'s drawing of Eden on my desk at my dad's house.

I am the queen of forgetting my own organizational skills.

Thursday and Friday I did not keep my promise of going to the library to work on FLT. Thursday's excuse is the very lame one of I was feeling extremely ill and had to go home. Friday's excuse is that I had to accompany my mother to her doctor's appointment, and since she's been put on crutches, it was kind of important that I help.

So with those extenuating circumstances in mind, I am planning to forget them and move forward and plow ahead.

You know what really keeps me going? The thought of being on some newsy television show like 20/20, walking the anchor to the library from the bus stop, and telling him or her (in my mind it's a her) about how I used to come to that library every day that I could to get some peace to work on my now-uber-famous novel. I listen to the fanmixes that Kelle made for me as I'm walking from bus stop to bus stop. I think that someday soon, the librarians are going to start recognizing my face and ask me what I'm doing. I'll tell them I'm working on a big school project (which is mostly true!) so that I don't sound like an egotist.

But someday soon, they'll be the people that worked at the library where A.L. Maddix wrote her first novel.

Carpe diem, kids. ;)

(also I have started writing fanfiction again. please don't hate me. I'm just trying to have fun. ;D)

ev'rybody giving me a hand-me-down

2010-01-06T11:48:00.002-07:00

I forgot my revised outline. I don't know where it is but I have a few theories that I'll investigate in the coming week. I'm pretty sure that it's at my dad's house.

In the meantime, I'm just going to keep typing up Draft #1 and, when I have the new outline, go back and fix anything that needs fixing for continuity purposes, so that at least I'll get some work done, even if I have to undo it all later.

Also, I'm tired and my tailbone has randomly decided to start hurting.

happy birthday, FLT

2010-01-05T12:03:00.002-07:00

One year ago I started writing the first draft of Fragile Little Things. Today I sat down in the library for the first of many one-hour sessions of work on the second draft.

Someday soon it'll be query letter time.

Happy birthday to you, FLT. <3

rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated

2009-12-31T22:58:00.002-07:00

Hi thar, Internet.

I've been failing as a writer since I posted last. =D

But new year, new times -- I'm going to start working an hour every day after school in the public library, because I work a lot better when not in my house. The exception to this will be every other Monday when my mother takes me to school and back, because I don't want her asking questions about what I'm doing. Not ready for her to bug me about that yet. I have a feeling it'll be harmful.

Anyway. Expect more soon. Also, I am renewing my job hunt and fostering rescued beagles and Great Danes. Busy year ahead.

Still recovering from California (which I miss so so so so so so soooooo much).

neopolitan dreams stretching out to the sea

2009-11-30T21:26:00.003-07:00

Sometimes I wish that someone had written my novel already so I didn't have to work so hard.

Except ghostwriters are about as useful as ghosts. Hence the name.

Also, no, Jesse, you don't get to commit more felonies. You've already got a rap sheet that could build a bridge over the Mississippi. No. More. Committing. Crimes.

In the span of the year leading up to the story and the approximate two-three week period in which the story takes place, Jesse has killed six people, attempted to kill a seventh, escaped maximum security prison twice, impersonated a prison guard, conspired to incite a riot, broken into the police precinct (of all places), "evaded" police, trespassed on private property, assaulted several police officers, stolen a taxi cab, escaped from police custody, and assaulted many more people.

Seriously, Jesse. STOP BREAKING THE DAMN LAW.

Also Detective Leonard could not be any more eerily like Agent Burke on USA's White Collar. Seriously, Jeff Eastin, out mah head. My bumbling but intelligent investigator who's friends with a convicted criminal. MINE.

Prologue of Draft 2 is done, working on a mostly-brand-new Chapter 1. In the realm of Extremely Slow Progress.

Make a note, nurse, the subject appears to be... fucking insane, frankly.

my first fanart

2009-11-25T18:23:00.003-07:00

Fragile Little Things officially has its first fanart!

Done by my wonderful best friend as a birthday present and plastered all over the Internet because I enjoy embarrassing her because I love it so very very much. ;D

Presenting Eden Rosemary Princeton!

Adorable coffee cup is adorable.

the art of felony

2009-11-24T23:09:00.002-07:00

I came up with an awesome way to resolve a myriad of problems and plot holes that popped up along the way in the first draft of Fragile Little Things.

This makes me extraordinarily happy.

Of course, it means that the re-write is going to take more effort than I had originally thought, but hell, it's going to be worth it. It really resolves a lot of major issues quite nicely, and actually got a positive review from Karina, who is the only person who really knows the story as well as I do, although I have kept certain details from her. But I trust her opinion, so woohoo!

(that also means I'm not telling you, because it would require more explanation than I care to give aaaaaand it would ruin a lot of fun stuff. Just know that it's kind of awesome and totally inspired by television. Thank you, Matt Bomer, for being more than just a pretty face.)

However, because my mother's computer has a mysterious lack of Microsoft Word, I can't start working on it until next week. Which is especially frustrating because I went with aforementioned parent to a reading and Q&A with Diana Gabaldon, which always makes me want to go home and finish a decent draft and find an agent and get famous and go do a Q&A of my own (all in one night!) but that's neither realistic nor immediately possible. xD Although I do harbour a secret fantasy of doing things like that. >_>

Except I genuinely hope my audience is a little less uniformly comprised of old ladies. xD My mother's friend's daughter and I were easily the youngest two in the room by about thirty years.

Speaking of aforementioned friend's daughter, she asked Diana Gabaldon about fanfiction, which actually this morning in Creative Writing Club we had an interesting discussion about. Frankly, I'd be hugely flattered if I get published and people like it enough to write fanfiction, although I cringe slightly because the shippers scare me. I think I can learn to live with ships of Jesse/Detective Leonard, Jesse/Spencer, or even Eden/Patricia (or Eden/Spencer, Patricia/Spencer, or Patricia/Detective Leonard, etc. etc. etc.), but I had a REALLY bizarre thought of those sickos who would ship Eden/Jesse. That is where I draw the line. I can deal with slash pairings and what not, but I draw the line at incest. That's just too weird.

Was that too much information? Probably, but it's my blog so I don't really care what you think. ;D

the more you see, the less you know

2009-11-21T20:30:00.002-07:00

Yeah, I'm a loser. I've been too sleepy to work on stuff lately. And tomorrow I'm going back to my mum's house, and she doesn't have the right word processing for my OCD needs.

So I'm going to take this upcoming week to just sleep, and hopefully be back in the swing of things the following week.

Patience is a virtue, my children. And maybe Karina needs to kick me in the butt again.

Also, Monday is my birthday. Yay for me.

the ambitious fall first

2009-11-18T21:32:00.002-07:00

Ironically, going to a relatively useless day of school actually helped me... a little.

Although I'm still gravely lacking submissions for my senior project, I did get something accomplished for my research, albeit not much and not much of that not much immediate. I put some books on hold, and I'll have to wait for those. I also asked a few teachers to give a survey to their students, and when I get those back, I'll ask more teachers, just so that I can stage it and I'm not overwhelmed with replies.

But I need more submissions, especially from non-seniors. Who knew that editing would be a lot of work?

I've seriously got to stop setting the bar so high for myself.

a new beginning

2009-11-16T14:40:00.001-07:00

This is my tentative new prologue for Fragile Little Things. I didn't used to have a prologue, but I couldn't think of a good way to start the story without this. Please note that this is unfinished, but I did promise an excerpt, so enjoy the fruits of my first day of editing.

The scissors were blunt. This was a problem. Jesse ran his finger across the blade, raising his eyebrow at Francis, who had brought the scissors to him. Francis held up his arms in defeat.

“You try getting a decent pair of scissors around here,” he said.

“It’ll have to do,” Jesse said, setting the scissors aside on the sink. He ran his hands through his long strawberry-blonde hair. Francis watched, leaning against the wall as Jesse gathered his hair in a ponytail. He looked at the other man.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked. Francis nodded.

“From what I hear, something big is coming. I don’t know who’s planning it, but I’ve got a funny feeling that power has changed hands. Raphael doesn’t seem the type to be so direct.”

“He isn’t.”

“Then you’re making the right move. You have a week.”

Jesse looked at himself in the mirror. It was cracked and filthy, but he could still see his own bright green eyes. He turned slightly so that he could see his ponytail in profile.

“Been a long time since I’ve had short hair,” he remarked, holding his hair together in one hand as he picked up the scissors with the other.

“It grows back,” Francis offered helpfully.

Jesse started cutting right above his hand. He had to do it repeatedly, the blunt blades making only minor headway with each slice. Francis shifted his weight, watching Jesse’s slow progress.

Pieces of hair fell to the concrete floor of the bathroom as Jesse finally managed to sever all the way through his ponytail. He shook his remaining hair loose, tossing the long ponytail into a small garbage can in the corner. He started snipping the rest of his hair, trying to make it both even and shorter. When he had finished, the sink looked like it was growing an oddly colored hamster, and he looked unrecognizable.

He turned to Francis.

“The last time I looked like this, I was maybe six years old,” he said.

“Without the beard, I hope.”

Jesse put a hand to his chin, looking thoughtful. “There’s that.”

Francis handed the other man a bundle of black clothes that he had been holding under his arm.

“It’s probably the wrong size, but hey, my resources were limited,” he said. He turned around to give Jesse some privacy for changing. He stared at the wall, chewing on his tongue. He could hear the rustling made by the clothes.

“What if they catch you?” he asked. “What then?"

“Not like I can do much worse than a life sentence. What’re they going to do, make me serve two lifetimes? Not sure I can handle that, since I only have one to offer.”

“I mean with her.”

Francis heard the rustling stop. A few seconds of silence passed.

“I can’t let that happen. I don’t even want to think about what would happen if this didn’t work. You can turn around now.”

Jesse folded his bright orange prison uniform and threw it in the trash can with his hair. He looked Francis in the eyes, and Francis couldn’t help but feel the same respect and fear as he had felt the first time Jesse had looked at him. Jesse smoothed out the stolen guard uniform.

“Thank you, Francis, for doing all of this for me,” he said. Francis shrugged.

“It’s not a problem. I’m only doing what you always say to do.”

Jesse smiled.

“Are you ready?” he said. Francis nodded. Jesse made a move for the door, past Francis, who grabbed his forearm in a sudden fit of boldness.

Jesse gave him a quizzical look.

“If power has changed hands, know this, Jesse,” he said, measuring each word. “Most everyone is still loyal to you. Power will only have moved illegitimately. He won’t be able to control them as long as you’re around. Stay on your toes, okay?”

Jesse nodded.

“Thank you, Francis.”

graphic content

2009-11-15T00:13:00.002-07:00

So I've officially quit NaNo. Deal with it.

In the meantime, I've been making random story graphics because they entertain me (and are surprisingly stress-relieving). Here!

Fragile Little Things 1

That one is just something I put together to sort of represent Jesse and Eden. I really hope the different font styles & colours can give away who says what. xD I don't remember if those lines are actually in the story, but I know there's at the very least something similar.

Stock photo, cropped slightly (there was a black box around the edge), light film grain, text, dark film grain.

Fragile Little Things 2

This... definitely not in the story. I did a mental character sketch about a conversation between Jesse and his parents, and he said something like this when his dad asked him how he could live with himself. Basically, yeah, he has a hard time with the whole guilt thing. And the hands are supposed to represent the blood on his hands? I dunno.

Stock photo plus text.

To Catch Infinity 1

This story, I have not yet begun working on! But I definitely am hanging onto the idea so that I can experiment with an epistolary. This character is Desdemona, the love interest of the main character, and she's pretty much out of her tree. She's kind of a hippy with a poetic vernacular, and this is something that she'd say. Teehee.

Stock photo, slight crop, text.

To Catch Infinity 2

This would be the cover if I was able to design it! Except the font, maybe. It's slightly lame. But yeah. It makes sense in the context of the plot, because they're a bunch of young adults biking around for no reason at all. Yup. I'll explain it more later, but yeah.

My photo (I'm so proud of it! No editing!) plus text.

Probably going to make more, but finding stock photos takes a lot of patience, so. xD

the city lights are dimming

2009-11-13T22:45:00.002-07:00

It's just not worth it right now.

My NaNo streak may be over. I just cannot deal with feeling like the clock ran rings around me, and it's a year ago. I am not the same writer. I'm very proud of how far I've come, and this NaNo... it's making me feel like it was all for nothing.

Always give 24 hours before making a rash decision. NaNo has 24 hours left to plead its case, and it's a damn weak one.

It is just not worth making myself feel like crap. This is my writing, my world. I can make the decisions and I need to stop letting other people make them for me, because they're making me unhappy.

I might come back to the story, when I have had more time to develop the plot and the outline and the characters, but starting a new novel five days after finishing a different novel? Not an intelligent idea. I'm sick of this bullshit. I am a better writer than this.

I know that I can do better. I can always do better.

And the excuse of "It's NaNo, it doesn't matter?"

That never worked.

I hate NaNo.

do you know the one where we all live happily?

2009-11-11T15:36:00.002-07:00

Lisa Mitchell, stop eating my brain.

I really, really wish that I had outlined TCLL. It's so horribly atrocious right now. This whole month is turning out to be one big valuable lesson about the wonders of character development.

Especially since now I really, really want to start editing Fragile Little Things.

At least it's almost half over, right?

Right?

don't criticize me, I'm on track. Meh.

what a difference it all makes

2009-11-03T21:48:00.003-07:00

Jesus Christ, it's obvious that I haven't put enough thought into this story. It's like the days when I first started writing and just sort of went for it without really thinking about it. It's like eating soup before it's had a chance for the ingredients to cook and the flavours to mix. It's just not right.

NaNo has always been easier because I've thought about it beforehand. This time, I didn't have the space to think about it beforehand. Yeah, it's an old idea, but it's an idea from the time before I actually developed plot and characters and whatnot. And I feel like I'm falling back down into that rut, which makes me miserable.

I know it's only temporary -- I just have to deal with it for a month, right? But it's still pretty hard.

It's only Day 3, so who knows what'll change? I just wonder how long I can hold on for.

let's light up this city

2009-11-02T20:05:00.003-07:00

NaNoWriMo 2009 has begun and I'm already in over my head, but at least I'm ahead with a current word count of 4,049.

Senioritis has robbed me of my desire to do more work than I have to, so I'm just typing instead of handwriting. I'd complain about what that does to the quality of my work, but this is NaNo and my inner editor is currently in a cement box six miles under the ground.

is it strange that my inner editor is a male?

This year's NaNo is an old idea that I'm trying to revive because... I can. It's called The City Lights Lovers and it's the first romance I've ever written. Yes, it is extremely awkward. I spent at least half a page talking about spaghetti. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but, again, it's NaNo.

Basically, it's told from the perspective of a girl who has such severe amnesia that she didn't even remember how to walk. The boy who found her, a "rebel" who calls himself Alpha, taught her Basic Humanity 101, and although she hasn't regained her ability to speak, they've fallen in love with each other and live miles below the poverty line, busking in parks and playing coffee shops & such to get by. She's a dancer and he's a guitarist. He calls her X, and she's okay with that (she's pretty much okay with everything he does, at first). Then they meet someone whom X calls Stringman, who knows something about X that threatens her relationship with Alpha because he's basically a psycho control freak. And then X has to grow up and start thinking for herself with interesting results.

In a nutshell, ROMANCE IS NOT MY FORTE. But I'm trying to broaden my horizons, so.

Also, fml NaNo.

On the Fragile Little Things front, I plan to take a week or two off after NaNo, then start re-typing the thing from scratch so that I can make a list of things both major and minor I need to edit. I'm going to take out all the embarrassingly bad stuff before I send it out to some secondary sets of eyes. Especially the shitty beginning and the anticlimactic climax. But none of that until at least halfway through December, maybe even in January, depending on how I feel post-NaNo.

the fragile little finale

2009-10-27T15:01:00.006-07:00

October 27, 2009, 9.18 a.m.

Room 606 at Barry Goldwater High School, Phoenix, Arizona.

Third table, front row, first seat.

A.L. Maddix finishes the first draft of Fragile Little Things, resists urge to do the happy dance on the table.

Hallelujah.

twenty-three

2009-10-26T10:03:00.002-07:00

HOLY SHIT OHMYGOD CHAPTER 22 IS FINAlLY DONE.

That chapter felt like it was never going to end. FML. Srsly.

It needs some serious work -- the climax is the least dramatic part of the whole story, srsly wtfbbq -- but it is done. And this makes me happy, because now all that's left is Chapter 23, which is going to be miniscule by comparison.

I'm so close I can taste it! *licks notebook*

also, FUCK I'm not prepared for NaNo at. All.

nananananana nano!

2009-10-23T18:18:00.002-07:00

Yeah, I'm shockingly underprepared. I DON'T HAVE AN OUTLINE. This is bad.

However, FLT is chugging towards completion. I'd say Chapter 22 (of 23) is about 80-90% done. And Chapter 23 will be much shorter and easier to write.

It's disgustingly terrible and needs a lot of work, but the important thing is to spit it out. The real fun begins during Phase I of the editing. I plan on going through each chapter if I have any spare time during NaNo and making notes about what I want to change, from broad concepts to fine details. Then, in December, I'll work on typing it up and starting a few of my own edits before sending it off to the people who have requested to help edit it. I'll maybe post the first five or fewer chapters on YWS, because my biggest weakness is beginnings and that's the very first thing I need to work on. Like, NOW.

I have a whole notebook I've designated for my list of edits. Pessimistic? Yes, yes I am.

the mad week of madness

2009-10-21T15:54:00.003-07:00

You know, if I don't finish FLT by this weekend, I absolutely have to finish it next week, otherwise I won't be able to start NaNo on time and I will *seriously* be disappointing some cool people.

So, here's to a kamikaze week of hail-Mary passes and an atheistic prayer for luck.

here's a thought

2009-10-20T22:29:00.002-07:00

I may be a multitasker, but even I can't take notes for Economics, listen to the teacher, and write FLT all at the same time.

Econ teacher is far too interesting. ;D

also: three deadlines in newspaper AGAIN is going to be the death of me. At least they're not consecutive, like I thought.

Although all the people who bitch about having to write two stories in two weeks ain't got nothin' on me.

(this has nothing to do with writing, but I cannot for the life of me get Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant out of my head.)

the fragile little summary

2009-10-19T14:14:00.004-07:00

FLT, despite what Jabber may say, is not a sandwich.

It stands for Fragile Little Things, the title of my current novel project.

The Basics: Eden Princeton, the police chief in a small town, has spent the past several years fighting the violent mob. Ever since she took office, the crime rates have plunged, the mob has been silenced, and she even managed to land the town's most notorious criminal behind bars -- her own brother, Jesse Princeton. Convicted of six murders and an attempt at a seventh, Jesse has spent the past year in prison, until he escapes and seeks out his sister, but he's not looking for revenge. Word has it that the mob threat still exists, and that they're planning something big -- and when it does, a complex web of lies and an even more complex web of mistakes test the bond between a civil servant and her subordinates, and the trust between brother and sister.

Cast of Characters

Jesse Princeton: The escaped convict with a somewhat annoying infatuation with truth and honesty

Eden Princeton: The town chief of police and the one just trying to do what's right

Patricia Thompson: Eden's assistant who's trying not to panic

Detective William Leonard: Chief of the investigative department, former lover of Eden, and the level-headed voice of reason

Spencer Plainsboro: The sadistic mob boss who'll do anything to get his way

Tobias Franklin: The closest thing Spencer has to a friend, who boasts a logic and gift for strategy that Spencer should really listen to more

Lieutenant Annette Aldrich: A member of the police force and trusted confidant of Eden and Detective Leonard

My Take: This is like one of those works of art that you have to stand back to appreciate. I am incredibly happy about the depth and complexity of this story, but there is a long list of details that I am highly dissatisfied with (and I'm keeping tabs on them). I don't think I'll ever be fully satisfied with it, because that's just how I am, but I do think it's one of the best ideas I've ever had (not to toot my own horn or anything). But I adore how real these characters have become to me, and I can only hope they seem just as real in the story. They are so deeply complex that they don't make sense even to themselves, and that's really what a lot of people are like. I really enjoy working with them and they've all settled into their roles quite nicely.

make a note, doctor, subject seems schizophrenic.

Current Progress: I'm still writing Chapter 22 out of 23. I'd say it's pushing 70,000 words, but I don't know for sure since only Chapters 1-15 are typed up. I'm hoping later edits will put me in the neighbourhood of 80,000 words, but right now I just want to get it done (preferably before NaNo starts).

you might get an excerpt if you're nice to me.

The obligatory awkward introduction

2009-10-18T21:45:00.003-07:00

Heyo, kidlets. You may know me as Teague on the lovely Young Writers Society. My real name? A.L. Maddix, of course. I live in a desert and it is, without a doubt, the most beautiful place on earth, I don't care what you say.

I am not wholly sure why my impulsiveness has led me here, but it has and I'm willing to take a trip down the rabbit hole. Who knows where I'll end up?

I am a writer, or at least I try to be, and... I guess if you have any interest in my writing, you can stalkerfeed this, because it's more or less all I'll be talking about here. Or at least that's my plan.

Current projects? A novel called Fragile Little Things (ooer, if I hit ctrl + I, it automatically does the tags. Good to know), an untitled anthology with my name as the editor credit for a school project, and my next novel project will be the wonder that is NaNoWriMo, and I'll be working on my ancient project of The City Lights Lovers for that.

I'd describe them individually, but I'll save that for later, when I have a clue what the hell I'm doing.

make a note, subject is impulsive.
yes, doctor.